06 September, 2013

A letter to my city

Dear Glasgow,

A year ago I came here knowing practically two people – and that is, if you can say you "know" someone after talking to them for a few hours just to realise there is quite a lot you have in common. A mix of emotions was fighting over me, ranging from joyful excitement to fear and sadness. I remember looking at you while the three of us had a walk in the rain (and got lost while the skies were darkening...) and putting on a fake smile, thinking quietly about how I'll never really like it here. I soon found myself being homesick, desperately clinging to the place of brighter memories. Things weren't getting better as time passed. My English wasn't as good as I had thought it to be, or at least I wasn't confident enough, and from an overly talkative person I turned into someone who preferred listening to the conversations of other people, and keeping my mouth shut. Later on I realised I didn't even have things to say anymore, I was lacking both strong opinions and the courage to express them. I forgot about my hobbies. In search of myself, I lost it completely.

365 days. The above paragraph paints a pretty accurate picture of how miserable I once was, back in the start. But guess what? That was exactly it, a beginning. And those negative feelings don't come even close to summing up my overall experience. The two girls I came here with? We have our issues, just like all friends do, but damn do I love them. And now there are more people I can call friends, too, and many more I can talk to without worrying about my English too much. You, the city? I still get amazed sometimes out of a sudden: by architecture, people, the atmosphere. I walk out of the library, and when the setting sun paints the sky in all the prettiest colours, the castle that is University looks just as magnificent as it once did in the prospectus I was looking at, dreaming of coming here. I promised to myself to get involved in things this upcoming academic year. I found my voice. I even have some goals for the future, and while the pieces of the puzzle don't fit perfectly, I'll pave my way. I know I can.

To this day I don't know how things changed, but I'm embracing the life I have here, and while some of the people I left behind are missed, those who actually cared enough, stayed, even if from afar. And I can say in all honesty: this was a wonderful year, and I'm looking forward to seizing new opportunities that come my way instead of thinking twice. And you know what? I'm happy.


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